Who Wears Short Jorts?

By JAY DESSY

Freshman Fred Vystavel settled on a women’s size 10 “faded glory” pair of jeans that might make you feel as though you are back in the 1990s. Sophomore RJ Johnston went with a tight-fitting bright pink pair, which, while certainly being a more vibrant choice, seems to make walking just slightly more challenging than it should be. Senior Allan Amico is keeping things simple with a solid beige colored pair.

“It’s not about color,” Amico said. “I’ve done white jeans; I’ve done regular. In the end, the real competition is who will cut them the shortest.”

The heavyweight men’s crew “jorts” tradition began on Monday and will continue throughout the week, ending with a photo shoot prior to Lawnparties on Sunday. Each day, the team cuts off a little more of their jeans. By Sunday, most members have gone about as far as they can with the scissors.

The idea started back in 2006 when some of the seniors on the team came up with the idea. It happened after seeing a Tobias Fünke Halloween costume from the Fox TV show “Arrested Development.” Fünke claims to be a “never-nude,” which, as the name implies, means he is never fully derobed. Instead, he is always wearing a pair of cutoff jeans, even while showering and sleeping.

As the days go on, shorter lengths of pants correspond to different themed looks: On Monday, the team leaves the pants at normal length. By Tuesday, a few inches are snipped as they go for a “Huck Finn” look, just slightly above the ankle. The inches continue to fall on Wednesday and Thursday as the team eases into an imitation of ’70s American band REO Speedwagon, whose music may have been forgotten but apparently whose knee-length jeans still live on. Friday’s “Top Gun” theme starts creeping into the realm of the uncomfortable, as Saturday’s “never-nude” day marks the complete crossing of that line. The week culminates as the Daisy Dukes look pervades campus throughout Lawnparties. It is unclear whether Edward and the Magnetic Zeros will be more alarmed at some of our scarcely dressed classmates or the Princeton student body when we wait, for the second time in one year, in Quad’s backyard for the band to play the one song whose lyrics we can sing along to.

While there is no clear winner for the week, it’s not hard to find out who cut their pants the shortest or whose outfit was most attention-grabbing. Much of the team is divided, in fact, between sticking to the traditional jean look that stays true to the fashion in which the tradition began and the neon colors and animal print styles that are sure to be fan favorites.

Regardless, it’s a fun week for all as some extra flare makes its way to the Princeton campus. With a big race against Brown this Saturday, hopefully light spirits will prove for a relaxed but focused squad come the weekend.

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